In all this time the show Sister Wives has been on air, I haven’t watched it until last night on Netflix. I love it!
The relationship that the wives have with each other is beautiful. It’s something that so many of us can’t understand or even imagine. It makes me contemplate my past relationships and the relationships of some of my friends and I wonder, why couldn’t we all just get along?!
Now, my co-wife and I have a pretty good relationship, but I will admit that there are times when we are having ‘unspoken anger issues.’… Whatever that means. Lol. But to openly welcome another woman into your family, to love your husband, when there is already 3 has my mind boggled! I don’t even think I’m built like that! I find myself often times thinking, “Oh Allah, please let us be enough…” But I wonder if that is selfish. Is there another woman who could need my husband? Is there another woman who I’d care to share my husbands islam, love, time, finances, etc., with?
In the past I have heard so many polygamy horror stories and have even authored a few of my own. It would have me wondering where the successful polygamous marriages are. The way these ‘Sister Wives’ handle a new wife is just… inspiring. And sure they may be Mormon, but they are women non the less. I found it interesting that these women grew up in polygamous households and it isn’t forced on their children. I wonder if that is a contributing factor among us Muslim women when it comes to how we handle polygamy. Is it easier to accept when you have been raised around it?
I'm Hiz Zawja 2 
Assalaamu alaykum
I also watch this show and it makes me at times ponder, could I be this close ith a co- wife? They admit to having jealousies and problems with one another, which I think is natural for any womean. I definitely think it is easier to accept what you’re rasied around. Growing up, I was thought a man sould be yours and yours alone. Women are content to be a mistress, but not a co-wife. When I was getting ready to marry my husband, my mom asked about polygyny in Islam and I said it’s a man’s right. She was preaching about how that aint right and unfair and could bring diseases, etc. I’m like, “What? No, him giving his mistress all his money and neglecting his wife and children is unfair, etc.” But again, that’s how she was raised. Many women from Africa expect their husbands to take other wives because that is the norm there. Americans just see polygyny as cheating, for whatever reason.
Wa laykum salaam rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu! When I was a teenager/young adult, my grandmother used to call me a whore or a tramp because I was content with not being the ‘only woman’. And in my days of ignorance, I was those things because I didn’t have any rights to them and they had none to me. When I embraced Islam it was still very hard for her to understand that I married right into a polygamous marriage. Now 6-years later, I think she gets it.
I grew up watching women get abused, cheated on, lied to, and never had a good example of a man until I became a Muslim woman and saw what a real man does, doesn’t matter if he practices polygamy or not. I find comfort in polygamy. I would much rather know where my man is and who he’s with. I feel my past of having been the ‘mistress’ prior to Islam has shaped my views of polygamy.
My 8 year-old daughter has already decided that she doesn’t want to have a co-wife! Lol. Truthfully, I don’t worry about what number wife she’ll be. It’s more important that she’s a productive citizen in society. I just beg Allah that He keeps Islam and obedience to Allah in her heart, so that when she does get married, inshaallah, she doesn’t oppose the Speech of Allah and excepts it wholeheartedly weather she ends up being a co-wife or not.