Although I’ve been a co-wife before, it’s a lot different when your husband actually does his best to implement Qur’an was-Sunnah. That is new to me. With that being said, my feelings are completely different from anything else I’ve ever experienced.

For the first time I can recognize the difference between love for the pleasure of Allah and love for the pleasure of ones own self. I am experiencing the fruits of wanting for your brother/sister what you’d want for yourself. Truth is, its often easier said than done. But when it’s done, it’s beautiful and you truly feel blessed. Most of all, this experience is making me a better Muslimah. I can feel it in my heart by the Permission of Allah.

The hardest thing about being his wife is watching him leave. But not just leave… leave to be with my companion. She asked me once, what I’d do if the shoe was on the other foot. Well, I cry, I frown, I feel like my heart is broken, I want to yell at him and beg him to stay, and sometimes I’m even angry. The crazy thing is I don’t even know who or what I’m angry at! Lol.

I imagine how I’d like the relationship between my co-wife and I to be. I imagine that someday she’ll forgive me for marrying our husband, because although prior to the marriage she was okay with it, I understand that once it’s said and done, it can hit you like a brick in the face. I hope that we’ll become closer companions. I imagine that we’ll do things as a family and we’ll be one big happy polygynous family.

Our husband is strong, wise, intelligent, and a problem solver. Having two wives is new to him, but he doesn’t let that harm us. He encourages us and reminds us that we are Believers and that for this to work we need to all be on the same page all the time… Qur’an was-Sunnah.

I know we’ll reach for the stars even if we have to stand on a cactus. We have an amazing family, maa shaa’allah.

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